Musings and Wisdom From Night Ranger Guitarist Brad Gillis (circa 1984)

The year is 1984 and the timeless monolith of a power ballad "Sister Christian" is bigger than 80 of Shane Diesels cocks combined into one massive black schlong. Brad Gillis is pretty much supreme ruler of the universe right now. His rippin' solos keep the framework of the cosmos from unraveling. The amount of tail Brad Gillis gets can't even be tabulated with human numbers. If God were Brad Gillis, I wouldn't even be able to finish this sentence because I'd be too busy listening to Night Ranger non-stop.

These are the thoughts of 1984 Brad Gillis.

"I hope LA Gear never goes out of business."